hmm..im back

its a saturday today..wat a day. Terrible way to start..i woke up at 3 today. Reason? My brother was snoring so loudly! Wow! Quite surprised he can go tat loud..hmm. His first time though..then fell back to sleep and alarm wokey me at 6. Haiz..woke up early to study abit of the past yr papers. Im hungry! So went to drink a cup of ovaltine. Eee, milo still taste nicer. More choco taste..

Anyway..not really in the mood to chiong my BTN. Due to last night perhaps. Was discussing calculation qns (toopid BTN..argh) den her dad shoo her to go eat durian. So wanting was going: "Later i do and msg u the ans k?" So lalala, was quite confident (note the "was") she could do it. So i happily snuggle into me bed le..ah..and msged her im sleeping le (in case she calls when im in a really comfortable position). Then she msged back: "kkz...juz finished eating durian. Give me 10 minutes". Hmm..guess i could do that ba. Then she msged back her ans..and a really off-the-ans type. I was...omg..wanting..u cant be that bad ba. And i thought she was quite power in new town 1..=x Anyway..so had to call her back...struggled up though. Grr..feeling like doing a virtual "slap" as in mirc on her. Haha..anyway..so explained abit..and feeling grumpy (i was so comfortable) and kkz..so lalala, managed to get back to bed. For some reason..i cannot sleep. Haiz...so end up..sleep at 10 become sleep at 11:30 like that. Toss and turn..:(

I guess i feel obliged to teach/discuss academic materials with anyone. And hmm..where did that feeling came from? Haiz..i miss david. So...long long ago..i was juz like a normal kid. I struggled with A maths in sec 3 i remembered. Was scrapping 46 like that even with my best effort. You noe? Academic was nver meant for me..and so i thought. Couldnt really remember that feeling though..but i noe its horrible when you didnt do well for a test. Especially when you studied so hard for it. Luckily..david sort of tutor me. :) I cant be anymore grateful le i guess. I mean..its a feeling that's very unique. Juz a few days ago, maths was a nightmare for me. Its sort of a overnight thing..when i suddenly realised maths wasnt that bad and i actually love doing it! (cos i noe how to do) I wanted ppl to feel like me too..everytime some1 would to praise me that "wa..ur studies so gd" or anything like that, i get reminded that i was actually kns once. You noe..that kinda of feeling. OH well..hope i can help some more ppl. Everyone is so intelligent..they juz lack that factor. Quite saddened though..cos poly is actually quite easy. Who understands wat i mean?

Anyway..so woke up with a ovaltine. Surprisely..i still felt hungry. Didnt really study too..was too tired. Mom cooked fishfinger for me! Ah..so long nver eat le..:) She "pao" milk for me too. So packed my bag..and bro gave me 1 cup of water..told me to drink before i go out. Gosh..i had 2 slices of bread, 2 fishfingers, 2 lettuces pieces (izzit called piece? or leaf?) and 3 cups of different water! :p I was that hungry..so went to school..and met muihui, ann (err..should be ba) and eugene. Lalala, talked to ks too..he was having aqua. Oh..saw joanne and weiling too (on the bus). Ah..nice to see so many ppl. Anyway..den entered LT..and got the paper. Ok..tt's the bad part kicking in. Hup was mumbling.."tmd..got assignment qns". Ya..i was perified too. Totally sucks man..cos i nver read them at all! Argh..can base on memory only. Anyway..and i was discussing how heavy the weightage is. 10 marks in the paper means more than 1 grade lost. Haiz...so saddened. Sat throughout the 3 hr..juz nice finished. Oh..like wat yuni said..i felt hungry (yes..stomach was growling..even after the heavy breakfast) and want to go toilet at 11 am. ARgh..tahan till 12..:( Dr zaman was cute..she announced "soon..its gonna be 10 minutes left. Later no 1 can leave orh.." and then after some time..some ppl left. Immediately after they left..zaman was annoucing "5 minutes left only" So in other words..some1 actually left within the 10 minutes boundary. Wow! Haha..i guess they were too busy discussing something. Anyway..still..toopid assignments. It was 7% only..and so we thought. With such weightage in the final yr paper (which was 60%)..it ended up assigment got ard 30-35%. ARgh..felt so cheated. Sobx

Then reached home..and went to complete chaos legion. Haha..juz switched to mirc..saw a quit msg.

[22:37] * kyosanagi has quit IRC (Quit (Guilt Hatred Malice Arrogance Flawed Blasphemy.......I have it all in thee....))

Lol..he/she forgot the ultimate crest..thanotos (how 2 spell?). Hehe..so cute..juz as i was typing chao legion too. Anyway...den was playing 1/2 way in the final boss..den bro wanted me to bring something down to shop for him. Ok..after i complete la. Reasonable i guess...so after that..true..i brought it down for him. But dad left with ah ma liao..so i juz placed it there. Went to tutor little junkai for a while..and came back. So lalala, came back..see finished the unlocked stuff..and bro kinda force me to watch anime. Ok..nicely put..he intro dis really funny anime for me..and i admit..its nice. But 1/2 way watching..he asked, so is dad there. I said no..he left already. He suddenly snapped at me..said that i should have at least stayed there till he comes back. I was amused initally..cos he went on to say "wa lau..hate ur this kinda of attitude." =x Wow..and i was kind enough to bring the wires down for him? anyway..not wanting to pick a fight..i tiam tiam watched the anime. After watching (still minding my own business)..so eagerly went to see the new game. Wanted to test it out i guess..den bro (yet again)..uses studies to pressure me. Was saying..u still hving exams right? Shouldnt u be studying? So i said..after exam..rest 1 day ma. Then we juz started arguing. My stand was that: y cant i play. His stand was: u're having exams. It sounds very correct..that i shouldnt play. But another problem comes when it seems obvious to me that he juz don like it that im using the com. (if i use = he canot play). My big brother tends to be funny..he's the type that don like ppl to complete a game before him and stuff. I was tellin him..so if my attachment starts..i can use the comp to my heart's content la? (u see..it sucks when u do something..and ppl will bug u to go study la..even if its holidays) my big bro then uses another argument..weird 1. Attachment also considered studying lor. I was...=x So when i can play without some1 telling me its wrong for you to play? During NS? Im very confused..is NS that bad? Both my brothers come home..and use the comp immediately. Their reasoning was that NS is very tiring and all. So i was..hmmm....because i havent undergo ns yet..so it'll be bias and inaccurate if i say anything against that. But it really made me pissed off..i went to threaten: when i enter ns..i wont even let them touch the comp the moment im home. Really..i had the evil thought of snatching and even beating them up if they ever want to use the comp when im ard. Being the smallest has its disadvantages..you have to listen to your brothers.......it sounds so hypocritical whenever they say its for my studies. Simply saying..im not convinced. End of the day..if they get the comp..i think they'll simply shut up and mind their business. For big bro..im beginnin to trust his words though..so being really confused..i juz shut up and prepare to sleep. Sobbing away..so big bro came in to talk to me. I kept quiet most of the time..cos i didnt want to hurt him. They don seem to understand..im no longer motivated to study..its so draggy..and most of it is still memorising rather than applying. Oh well..so many things to say..but not really couragous enough. Its still boils down to: hurt some1 vs tell them wat u think. Maybe i'll juz wait for some1 to get me really pissed off so that i'll explode. Kaboom..grrr

So the day was horribly spoilt..haiz. Maybe attachment would be nicer..i juz realised that IAP logbk may be easy. Hehe..whew. Can concentrade on my project logbk le. Oh well..life sucks...today. :p