lagged! lazy actually, hehe

Ok, so i'll continue with wednesday's post. ya, there's more. Dont wan to edit that post though..that phrase is....mind-wrenching. So i wasnt planning to eat basically, cos jm they all are packing lunch. fiona called, and she was eating at nus staff (changed name to food enclave) which was quite near. Lonely she was, so i had to go pei her. If not, i cannot stand up to myself. Eating alone is bad for psyschological health ya noe? Haha, anyway, i had a chance to visit IMCB (the one behind, near to CRC)! Quite secluded, was joking abt IMCB having freaky experiments going on in the basements and stuff. Quite a nice place, but i still like CRC better. :)

Thought: Ok..here's a new section. My thoughts basically, just to pop an idea on how weird my thinking is. Actually, i wanted to type more of the excursion. But cant really decided what is "personal stuff" and "general stuff" well, so just have to play safe and skip it. Simply put, scarred by incidents when girl was angry with me for errrr, revealing things i shouldnt had. I seldom have arguments with people (except for family..which was rather rare too. More to small picky talks)...so one can say i get "injured" easily when if i found out that anyone is to actually be angry with me. Others (i shall not reveal who i have in mind), i feel, will simply put it that i cant withstand critisim from others. I told faye before, your conclusion, if processed wrongly, will cut deeper than other ppl's words. I cant phrase it in a more understandable way, but wat im trying to say is that ur perception of what the person is trying to put across is more impt than anything else. Will elaborate further later.

Went back after that, which was ard 2:15 pm. Reached home 3:00. Watched naruto manga (i almost spelled mango...haha) online (thks berd) until very late..cos i thought tml would be the same. Wrong..=x

Thursday
Came to work at 10:00. Renee was back..and i was informed i can start work! yes! (well..half heartly)..so planned whether i shld do western or elisa. Verdict was elisa..so my work for morning resulted in plain bleeding. Went with haiyan (wonderful person...) and renee. They were doing bleeding and feeding. Im juz doing bleeding..alot of ppl there. So crowded it was..following that, i finished (took a long time..:( ) and got back to level 3 together with renee they all. ust nice, jm called, and i went straight to lunch immediately after that. Met up with them in business..ate mixed rice again. Eee, their mixed rice's rice is sticky one..u noe? too much water..and it sticks to the spoon type too. Like glutinous rice, but much lesser taste. Oh, saw caiyi (the one and only girl i approached in KAP mac, who didnt recognised me. The friends ard then thought i so brave to sian a stranger) today at busniess too, 2nd person from SAJC i saw in NUS. Msged wanting abt that, she says thks and she'll lunch with caiyi one day. Ah..2 old friends getting together. Last time at KAP, i also went to get her hp number, for wanting la..cos she don hv. Both of them hv personalities that match i guess..good-looking (don mind my taste..haha) and scary. Those type that will bite if u piss them off and u're a stranger. Felt i have to get them together..dunno y. 2 girls combinations..maybe they could make gd frens with such matchin characters.

So got back from lunch, juz have to wait for Dr liew to start my ELISA work. Wait was the word....i waited 1.5 hrs there, until Renee suggested i go down and see the posters on exhibition. Ok, nothing to do anyway..so lalala, i went down. Went straight to vending machine and bought a snack. Hehe, munch munch, and finished it very soon. So went for 2nd rd..this time was lays. So i munching 1/2 way, kris pops out from my right and placed his hands inside for the chips. Abit surprised..haha, cos i saw him before i went for lunch. Muz scare me like that..haha. Went postering (see posters together) and chat. He told me to notice the way the notices are presented, color tone and stuff. After that, he brought me to visit his lab, same dept, the small building beside a carpark that 1. Hehe, its incredible. Kris said it was more...establised..ya..true. Ok, lets describe. Imagine....a lot of fridges, autoclave machines and incubators. Next, recall how blk 34's lv 7 corridor looks like. Now, combine both together, with the fridges and incubators being the walls. yes..u literally hv a pathway craved from those miniature buildings. Haha, that crowded (nods head)...like kris says, if some1 is taking something, you cant walk past 1 lor. =x Got a glimse of eugene and joanna too. Hehe, they were surprised. :p

Next, it's my turn, so i brought kris to lv 3, my lab there. brought him in, only to know that dr liew was ready..argh. So kris had to leave abit early..aww. Ok, so comes the ironic part. I had nothing to do, from 1:30 to 5:15..juz slacking away. Finally, Dr liew is ready..and end up..i coated elisa plates and prepare adjuvents till 8:00. :( It could have been a good day one! :( Msged fiona with a lot of dots..so ironic. On tuesday, went home at 1:15. Wed also early. Thursday? Break record for latest. HAha..oh well.

Anyway, was doing the friendster thing. Was going through emmanuel's friend list, and saw "faye". Made me frown inside..a confused frown. So i clicked her, juz to look through any testinomials. Then saw "bernard" and "quek" (found out to be zuoyi) too. Somehow, i got kinda jealous. Its like, this silent alliance they automatically had after that incident. Most actually "sided" with faye. Not that there's a right or wrong, as in still manages to be friends with her. Friends meaning she shares private thoughts with them, a sign of closeness. Which of course, makes me ponder.

Thoughts: Was I inferior to them? I noe my skill at comforting and making ppl feel better isnt good, but i do try my best. So my best is not enough it seems. The mist has cleared, and it seems she wasnt close to me at all. I wanted to know why desperately, why is the avoidence neccessary? Is it a issue of not hurting the other party more? If so, its definitely not working. I don understand. Im thinking, maybe its just me and my over reaction to this matter. After all, her chance of explaining has more or less passed. The wound is gone deep enough, to pretty much remain a scar. Now i understand her sentance of leaving a memory not worthy of me (she mentioned to read carefully). Once again, i underestimated a girl. Y am i typing all these? Mengs says it's over...well, at least i know they're still together...:) note: happy as in at least i wont say something stupid. :p

(still under thoughts):
to me, religion teaches compassion to all.
Reality teaches otherwise...selective compassion.
Im trying hard to be nice to everyone. Faye made me feel that its not worth it, but im not giving up just yet. Will my environment prove my idea wrong?

But! from emman's friend list, i managed to get chee mun's too!!! wooo! cant wait to be his "friend" and do a testmonial. Miss him, honestly. Aspired to be like him when small, but obviously failed. Haha. Wonder how many more surprised there are in life? Frankly though, im still trying to look at life in a more light-hearted way.

outz`