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a reconstructing blog
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Monday, July 12, 2004

Im quite against entering negative thoughts into my blog..but tonite is quite bad..

hving mixed emotions.

worried | disappointed | longing | restrained | afraid | confused | unassured | numb | miss | lost | sad | strained |

On the outside..no tears flows, but the inside gets a small cut. I couldnt smile today, not from the inside. Hating myself for the lack of courage, the lack of strength and the lack of control.

The mind refuses to think. The feets just keep walking; moving forward. Its as though im still running..running..from an invisible fear. Lyrics from songs enters the ears, staying there. Echoing around, leaving negative thoughts.

sigh..

I give myself one year to change. For the better. I need to learn trust. On both sides. You can do it...you have to. *smiles weakly*

I'll be strong. Can't have you worrying right? :)

outz`goodbye..and take care k?

10:45 pm